I could build mountains with the amount of anxiety I’ve had in the past stressing over life and my obsessiveness with trying to control every aspect of how it turns out. Even before I had my stroke, I knew this was a major flaw of mine. I had a lot of self-awareness. However, I was lacking a lot in the actually doing something about it department. With time, I’ve developed my top 10 ways to let go of what no longer serves you.
Word of the Year
I have a tradition at the end of the year where I like to set a word for the year ahead. For 2026, I chose the word release, and for me, that word encapsulated multiple meanings. I wanted to release control and loosen my grip on needing to attempt to maneuver things to go a certain way. I wanted to release expectations. I wanted to release the walls I built and boundaries I placed on myself. I wanted to release the fear that was holding me back. I also wanted to release the best version of myself to the world. I felt like the word perfectly described what I wanted 2026 to be all about. Being the total opposite of this my entire life had me at a loss for where to even begin.
2026 didn’t really start the way I was hoping for. I was dealing with mental health issues and keeping to myself about it. It was hard to share my dilemmas with anyone because I didn’t want them to think less of me. I was just struggling. Twenty-eight days into the new year, I went to the ER thinking I was coming down with the flu. I was completely blind-sided when they told me I didn’t have the flu. I actually had a mild stroke. A couple weeks into my recovery, after the initial shock had subsided, I thought it was time to start putting more effort into my days. This was my opportunity. This was the time to turn things around and crawl my way out of the dark hole I was in.
I needed to learn to let go of what no longer served me. The only way things were going to fall into place was if I let them. I realized I was definitely making my life harder than it needed to be. Just let it go. We often hear that phrase. It’s thrown around like accomplishing it is some easy feat. Those four simple words hold a lot of power, and if we allow them to seep into our soul, they can move mountains for us.
My 10 Ways
I have gone through trial and error to come up with the 10 ways to let go of what no longer serves you; that actually work, so you don’t have to. Some steps are easier than others. I found it wasn’t a linear journey, but more ebbs and flows of intertwining and going back and forth between the steps that worked best for me. It wasn’t following steps 1-10 but taking whatever step you needed in the moment. Finally, it was time for me to rewrite my story, redefine my priorities, and fully embrace what life has to offer. Here are the ten things I implemented to let go of the things I needed to let go of.
1. Recognize Exactly What No Longer Serves You
Before you can solve a problem, you have to understand what the problem is. For me, a few things that came to mind were trying to control things out of my power, negative self-talk, lack of self-love, holding on to past hurts, and being hopeless. Your list may be similar or very, very different. Dig deep and be brutally honest with yourself on where your problems lie. Find what’s draining you and write down what you come up with.
2. Use Mindfulness to Let Go and Create Space
Through meditation and yoga, I found out where all of my flaws lie. Both practices will read you to filth, yet having you feel lighter once it’s over. Meditation will show you your honest thoughts, and yoga will show you where in your body you’re storing them. In their own ways, they’ll help you free up space by letting go off all the tension and negativity you’re holding onto and allow for new things to enter. If you haven’t tried either, I highly recommend both. They can be done anywhere, at anytime. During my recovery, it was very easy for me to dive right back into these practices because you feel the effects even after the first time you try. It’s instantly like Oh, I know this is good for me, and I want to do that again.
3. Forgive
Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive people who never gave you an apology. You’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for you. We’re all human. We all make mistakes: things we aren’t proud of and wish we could take back. It’s not worth it to carry around the baggage that holding a grudge weighs you down with. Learn from it and move on. You will thank yourself in the long run for this.
4. Let Go of Expectations
Expectations are just resentment in the making. Being hopeful is one thing, but having expectations is dangerous. It will have you putting all your eggs in one basket and leave you disappointed when it doesn’t work out the way you thought. Just don’t do it. Hope for the best and let it ride how it’s supposed to.
5. Focus on What You Love
Start filling your mind constantly with things and people you love. What brings out the best in you? What sparks your joy? What brings you passion? If you spend more time focusing on these types of things, you’re attracting more of it to come your way. What you focus on becomes your reality. So, get ready for all the goodness to come to you when you get the hang of this because trust, it’s coming!
6. Mantras and Affirmations
Ladies and gents, we all need encouragement and love from time to time, and who better to hear it from than yourself. Some of my personal favorites are I am affirmations. I am loved. I am loving. I am brave. I am capable. Speak highly of yourself and the universe will respond. Another habit that I’ve been doing during my morning meditation is thinking about the phrase Universe, show me how good it can get. Show me how good life can feel and show me how good things can be. I believe very much in the law of attraction. Ask for what you want to receive. It’s always better to put it out there because you never know.
7. Practice Gratitude
The more thankful you are for the blessings you have, the more things to be thankful for will come your way. It’s life science 101 and the law of attraction yet again. Honestly, being grateful just puts you in a better mindset. Your focus becomes less of what you don’t have, and you see the things you do have in a better light. It makes you a better person and who doesn’t want that.
8. Celebrate Small Wins
I don’t care what you’re going after in life; those small wins are the ones that count. You stack up enough small wins and eventually you’re winning the war. So be proud of those little moments and the changes you notice, no matter how small. They matter. If you’re going for something specific, set increments where you reward yourself when you hit certain milestones. It will build momentum, and once you have momentum, good or bad, it’s hard to break.
9. Show Yourself Grace and Compassion
When you’re implementing changes into your life, it’s not easy. It’s completely normal for you to have moments of doubt or feeling like trying this might be a mistake. One: It’s not a mistake. Two: You’re doing great. You need to give yourself some grace, love. It takes a lot of courage to step into a healing journey, and you should be proud for taking the first steps. It’s okay to take five steps forward and two steps back. It’s all part of the process.
10. Trust the Process
Speaking of “the process.” You have to have faith that all this work you’re putting in will be worth it. Know that you are not doing it for nothing, but that there are brighter days ahead. You will get to them if you keep going, but not if you hit a roadblock and decide to step. Despite failures and setbacks that you’ll have along the way, continue to follow the plan. I can’t say that it won’t be tough, but I can say it will be worth it.
It’s Not Going Anywhere Without You
ot too long ago, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. The iconic, bestselling author, podcast great, world influential Mel Robbins (I’m a huge fan, if you can’t tell) posted a quote that so simply put exactly what I had been fighting against for so, so long. It said, “You will not miss the life meant for you.” It won’t leave you behind. It’s not going anywhere without you. You have nothing to worry about. Let go, do your best, and let the universe do its thing.
There’s something magical about letting go. It’s freeing. It’s liberating. It’s blissful. It creates space for new, beautiful things to enter. It’s something I haven’t experienced for a long time since I spent so long wound up in a tight ball of stress. I forgot how much easier it is when you just let things ride. This will probably be an ongoing process I continue to work on for the rest of my life, but it feels good to be on this path. I would choose this path over the path I was on any day.
The proof is in the rewrite. Here’s to redefining priorities, embracing life, and healing out loud.
Xo-J.
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